as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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