I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
