At least make sure they are 18
Why
look no pants
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
