pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize
