a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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