Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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