Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
