He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
