ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Randomize
