So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Randomize
