Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Can't talk, ducks in the car
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
