Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
