Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
You were trust falling into bushes
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Randomize
