dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize
