Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
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