dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
honey bunches of taint.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Randomize
