yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
