My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
