At least make sure they are 18
Why
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
