Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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