Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
