If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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