oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Your cock deserves a montage
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
