also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
