So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
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