A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Randomize
