What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Sorry my hands just texted you
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Randomize
