Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
