i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
