i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Randomize
