How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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