Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Randomize
