Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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