What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Randomize
