if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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