I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Randomize
