they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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