I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
