I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
