Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
