were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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