I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
