btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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