Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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