i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
