im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Randomize
