I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
