he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Actions speak louder than pants.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
