To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
You've changed since you got that strap on
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
