I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
this just has baby written all over it
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Randomize
