You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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