I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Randomize
