I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
