is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
