THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
